Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 3

GILFs, grandmothers, Older Women, Mature Women.

For most of my adult top-shelf buying life, on the rarest of occasions one would see a photoset of an older woman. I think that a British magazine, possibly Club International around 1980, featured a photo set of a woman of about 71 naked and spreading her legs.

Mostly though, old(er) women appeared in the "Readers' Wives" sections of amateur photos that appeared in many magazines.

By the year 2000 there was a niche market for magazines with titles like 40 plus, 50, 60, 70 Plus. So there was obcviously a substantial number of men who fantasized about fucking older and old women and wanted at least to wank over photos of them offering their cunts and arseholes, and even of them being shagged.

Now Mum and Granny porn makes up a smalliih but significant portion of porn on the web. 

I'm sure most men have known older women they would love to fuck, given the chance. I've known quite a few in my work.

Here are some older women who I find attractive and who I'd love to have a go on.

Above: I'd love to get my knob up her

Above: another one I'd love to get my knob in

Above: nice face and big soft titties - I'd love a go on her

Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 2

Tampon strings aka Fanny Mice, or indeed anything that even suggested that women have menstrual periods.

Who Cleared the Top Shelf?

Ever fewer newsagents in the UK stock porn, soft or hard. The only local shop that sells the stuff is offering much of its stock at half-price and still it doesn't sell.

A couple of weeks ago I found the newsagent re-tagging girlie mags at the counter while his little scots terrier dozed on the newspapers and asked him

"Does anyone still buy those?"

"Oh, there's still a few come shuffling in"

"I'd have thought that any one who wanted that stuff would get it from the Internet"

"Not this lot round here, the Internet's well beyond most of 'em"

I was one of "them" until a few years ago. I've always had a huge porn habit, largely because I had and have no other sexual, never mind romantic, outlet.

What I noticed in the last ten to fifteen years is this...

Until about 1992 the only places one could find strong soft or genuine hard porn was in the centre of big cities, and with hard porn one could even then only find it in backstreet illegal outlets often disguised as second hand bookshops with a secret room for "special customers".

The stuff in those back rooms was as extreme as the proprietor thought he could get away with - and in every case but one that I knew of, the proprietor was a man. And the prices were very high.

For a brief time in the late 70s hard core porn was available in small newagents, at least in the form of magazines from the Dav1d Sull1van and the G0ld Brothers stables, with vaginal and oral sex and female masturbation depicted. This time soon past and in most of the two following decades only soft porn was available in newsagents.

Then suddenly around 1997 some specialist North American magazines began to be available in some mainstream UK newsagents and in the hard core shops. I have always found pale-skinned oriental women very attractive so at the time I was buying a number of american "oriental" magazines, my favourite being "Shaved Orienttails"

The first sets I noticed were of japanese and other far eastern girls inserting small gourds and other oriental fruits up their cunts, then suddenly almost every american soft porn mag available in Britain was featuring women pissing, being fucked, sucking cock, dildos up the cunt and arse, gaping arseholes, the lot. And despite this, much of the material wasn't selling.

I had a number of magazines on standing order from a specialist shop in Shude Hill, Manchester, and by 2005 it became impossible for them to continue to supply them because the cost of shipping and not selling surplus copies was outstripping the profits they made.

In the last year the market seems to have collapsed entirely, shops that used to specialise have returned to being just news agents, specialist p0rn shops now mostly specialise in DVDs or rare collectors back issues.

And who can blame them? What punter would pay top dollar for stuff that isn't even that much to his taste when he can download high quality hi-def photos for free by the thousand, amateur or pirated, find treasure troves of classic sets online, and even subscribe to specific models and receive photos of the women he like doing exactly what he wishes.

I certainly wouldn't.

Ava Cade11

A fellow member of my favourite erotica archive solved a problem for me - the identity of one of the earliest glamour models whose photosets I still have This gorgeous young woman is Ava Cade11 and the more explicit photos are from Men Only 1976 41(12).

Here she is in a coy Page 3 pose, as most saw her


and here she is posed much more revealingly




I don't know how many times over the years I've wanked over that lovely face and body, and that inviting bum hole without even knowing her name.

Any way, my thanks to her for giving me a lot of pleasure over the decades.

Second Thread

I've started a second thread at V1ntage Erot1ca F0rums, in their "Other Stuff" section. I contributed several posts to their "Rear V1ews" thread, which is nude models showing off their bottoms. I asked in that thread whether "Rear V1ews" was the right place to post models doing anal gapes, and the replies I received suggested a lot of the members didn't like them, despite themselves posting photos of women showing their closed anuses.

So I started my own thread, called "Bums Wide Open" featuring women presenting their often widely dilated arseholes, a sight that turns me on immensely.

So far I've received thanks but no contributions by other members - I shall have to wait and see what happens...

Evolved Beyond Titties

In an earlier post I mentioned I prefer flat chests to breasts and hardly notice a woman's tits unless she somehow draws my attention to them, perhaps by literally thrusting her cleavage under my nose. I'd prefer it if women were like other mammals and had no breasts except during pregnancy and breast-feeding

Good example of flat chested women in porn are very rare, but a poster at VEF has uploaded his own collection, so I can now put a few sexy examples on this blog.

You Know You're Getting Old When...

While trying to find photographs of women flashing in public I found the following photos of a model called Gina Lorenz posing and spreading her legs on Blackpool North Front. I immediately noted the people in the background were wearing padded jackets, fleeces, and the like and my thoughts went straight to "poor girl, she must be bloody freezing"

Bums-a-Daisy

Looking through my files for some artwork I found these photos of small but yummy liverpool lass Car0l Heaps who had a short career in Glamour photography around 1986. I know she at least did one hardcore set published in PRlVATE around the same time but these are my two favourite photos, both more or less the same pose from different angles, except feet together and feet apart.

The first one, with her skirt framing her bum and her legs like a stem, reminds me of a flower.

Bumming Across Europe

Searching a forum for good photographs of my few favoured large breasted models the other day, I happened across a thread dedicated to Lynne Armitage. Lynne was never one of my preferred models, but she was quite active in British Girlie Magazines in the middle-late 1980s. She was often mentioned in the tabloid Sunday papers as a bit scandalous. As I remember she was a housewife and amateur competitive cyclist in her late 30s from Oldham who appeared a few times in the "ReadersWives and Girlfriends" sections of a few mags and then started doing some professional soft porn modelling, and going on a marriage-busting sexual spree.


I found her a bit hard featured, with too much make-up, over-blonded hair, and an obvious tit job, but she did have a good and very fit body, and - particularly in her diary feature in Razzle - very often posed showing off and spreading her bottom, which is always a huge plus for me.


I knew from buying a couple of hardcore back issues about 10 years ago that she had done a little hardcore, but I was stunned when checking her thread at the Forum quite how much hardcore she did, for many continental publishers including the huge PRlVATE and C0l0ur Cl1max corporations.


My attention was initially caught by this introductory photo to a set called "Paris Bum Orgy"
which from the style is from a C0l0r Cl1max photoset. It's a dreadful title, and given that it namechecks Last Tango in Paris I'd have jokily called it something like Ass-bango in Paris. As usual it's the usual gang-bang, which I always find tedious and off putting.


I checked the personal links provided by the original poster and was taken aback not only to be able to download the entire set, but every other hardcore set she ever did, and nearly all of them were anal sex sets. She seems to have specialised in getting bummed, which was very rare over 20 years ago. I knew she had a reputation as being very randy even in her personal life and a bit of a rum 'un, but I was still taken aback.



Can't say I'm complaining though, the more bumming the better.

Breasts, Big and Natural

Thirty years ago I fell for a young woman called Lynn. One day at Sixth Form I was drawing her while she stood at an easel drawing a life model, and as I drew her I was suddenly overwhelmed by a powerful longing for her. I didn't know her very well but I had known her since we were little.

The longing went nowhere, I didn't know how to address it, but it lasted for about 3 years. But I remember about two years in, after I had got to know her better, that I one day noticed her breasts as she was walking with her friends from a cafeteria. Two whole years before I noticed something as female and sexual about her as her breasts.

Since then I've been aware that I rarely notice women's breasts unless they are literally thrust under my nose, by a woman standing or sitting close to me. Then I look and find them exciting to look at, and feel a little embarrassed and ashamed at looking, but generally I don't notice them at all. With flesh and blood women I'm attracted to I notice faces, bigness of bottom, length of leg and torso, and hip to waist ratio, but hardly ever breasts. It was only after taking and cropping a photo of my friend Berni that I noticed that she had quite big tits, and I've known her at least six years. The same holds for every woman I've known never mind desired.

I'm not abnormal - I like the feel and weight of a woman's breasts in my hands, but I don't seem to have the obsession that most men have, "Gawd look at the tits on her", "She's got lovely knockers", "how big are her bristols?" etc.

Even in pornography. I mostly couldn't say what size the breasts of most of my favourite models are, and I've never wanked over a model only because of her tits, In 35 years of buying and using porn I can think of only six models I've collected who had big breasts I found impressive and attrative, and only two I strongly fancied. On the other hand, I find a flat chest on a woman sexy in itself, and have wanked over models I don't otherwise like because of their boyish chests.

I've liked a few models with big tits like H0ney Bane and Trinity Loren, but largely that was because of their pretty faces and general plumpness. Sadly, Trinity Loren died a terribly young death over 10 years ago and Bane's life has been chaos for most of the last 30 years .


H0ney Bane (D0nna Boylan), former singer with punk band
Fatal M1crobes, pregnant here in
the mid-80s


Trinity Loren: real name J0yce McPherson


Here are photos of the only models I've liked partly because of the size and shape of their breasts. They are Chl0e Vevr1er (1990s-2000s), Pat Wynn (80s, she started when she was already in handsome middle age), D1anne Wynn (no relation, late 80s-90s), D0nna Ambr0se (early 1980s - present), Devon Dan1els (late 80s), and my favourite, and the only one I suspect I would fancy in real life, M1llie Minchen, aka M1llicent Sn0w (late 80s).


D1anne Wynn



Chloe Vevr1er



Pat Wynn: real name Sally F0rina, a much better name



Devon Dan1els



and two photos each of my favourites:
D0nna Ambr0se, aka Dan1ca C0llins
mid 80s:

and 2008:



M1llie Minch1n, aka M1llicent Sn0w
late 80s

Mid 2000s


Millie was probably my favourite, the sort of face I like, dark haired, pale skinned, quite tall at 5'9" (most big breasted models are short) , long limbed and formerly with dark almost black wavy hair. Lovely.