Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 7

Women with dirty bottoms

This was published in a popular scandinavian pornographic magazine in the 1980s, I bought a back issue from a second-hand magazine shop near the town centre of a large British city in the late 1990s for £6.

The woman offering her shitty bum for our perusal and enjoyment went on to have a successful career as a rock musician.

And if you think that dirty bum of hers was fake, here's one of the photographs taken just seconds before of her squeezing out one of her turds.

If you don't know who she is, her first name is the same as the Saint for whom the wheel-shaped spinning fireworks is name, and her surname is the same as the noun for a person who rings a bell.

Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 6

Women Wiping their Bottoms

No, she's not been dabbing her cunny dry after having a wee, she's wiping her bottom, there's a smear of shit on that wad of toilet paper.

Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 5

Women dirtying their knickers again - but this time deliberately, unlike the young lady in Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 1.

This was from a shop, bought in England, but not top shelf, rather it was from a fetish mag dump box in a second-hand and import magazine shop. The magazine was published sometime in the late 90s.

Things You Hardly Ever Saw In Top Shelf Mags number 4

Dirty knickers - I can't say for sure whether that's piss or shit on the gusset of her discarded knickers, but because it's a saffron brown stain I'm guessing shit. Probably a young woman who doesn't do a thorough job when she wipes her bottom.  I'd gladly wipe her bottom for her.

Readers' Wipes anyone?

Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 3

GILFs, grandmothers, Older Women, Mature Women.

For most of my adult top-shelf buying life, on the rarest of occasions one would see a photoset of an older woman. I think that a British magazine, possibly Club International around 1980, featured a photo set of a woman of about 71 naked and spreading her legs.

Mostly though, old(er) women appeared in the "Readers' Wives" sections of amateur photos that appeared in many magazines.

By the year 2000 there was a niche market for magazines with titles like 40 plus, 50, 60, 70 Plus. So there was obcviously a substantial number of men who fantasized about fucking older and old women and wanted at least to wank over photos of them offering their cunts and arseholes, and even of them being shagged.

Now Mum and Granny porn makes up a smalliih but significant portion of porn on the web. 

I'm sure most men have known older women they would love to fuck, given the chance. I've known quite a few in my work.

Here are some older women who I find attractive and who I'd love to have a go on.

Above: I'd love to get my knob up her

Above: another one I'd love to get my knob in

Above: nice face and big soft titties - I'd love a go on her

Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 2

Tampon strings aka Fanny Mice, or indeed anything that even suggested that women have menstrual periods.