Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 7

Women with dirty bottoms

This was published in a popular scandinavian pornographic magazine in the 1980s, I bought a back issue from a second-hand magazine shop near the town centre of a large British city in the late 1990s for £6.

The woman offering her shitty bum for our perusal and enjoyment went on to have a successful career as a rock musician.

And if you think that dirty bum of hers was fake, here's one of the photographs taken just seconds before of her squeezing out one of her turds.

If you don't know who she is, her first name is the same as the Saint for whom the wheel-shaped spinning fireworks is name, and her surname is the same as the noun for a person who rings a bell.

Things You Hardly Ever Saw in Top Shelf Mags number 6

Women Wiping their Bottoms

No, she's not been dabbing her cunny dry after having a wee, she's wiping her bottom, there's a smear of shit on that wad of toilet paper.

Things You Hardly Ever Saw In Top Shelf Mags number 4

Dirty knickers - I can't say for sure whether that's piss or shit on the gusset of her discarded knickers, but because it's a saffron brown stain I'm guessing shit. Probably a young woman who doesn't do a thorough job when she wipes her bottom.  I'd gladly wipe her bottom for her.

Readers' Wipes anyone?

More About Bum Mags and Bums

I recently acquired a copy of an old japanese bum magazine. The japanese did this sort of thing well, indeed they did most fetish magazines and materials well.

Showing pubic hair and genital detail was illegal in Japan until relatively recently, so there are small strips of black obscuring the models' twats, but their bottoms and bum holes are presented in all their inviting filthy loveliness.

But this being Japan, where little but genital detail was censored, the magazine acknowledges that at bottom - pun intended - a large part of the thrill of a woman's bottom is that it is the location of the orifice through which she empties her bowels.

So in this bum magazine the models don't only bare their bottoms and then spread their cheeks to show off their bum holes, they then squeeze out a turd, wipe their bottoms and show the viewer the dirtied brown toilet paper.

I've searched for this sort of material all my life. The scandinavians produced a small number of magazines decades ago, the germans also, but they were pretty much impossible to find outside northern Continental Europe. There's contemporary material downloadable from the web, but it's mostly poorly done and heavily into smearing and eating shit. I was never interested in such stuff, for me the thrill was seeing a pretty woman, preferably dressed, dropping a turd, preferably a big, long firm one, and preferably in public. The only thing missing for me is a follow-up photo of the model being shagged up her still dirty bum-hole.

So thank you Japan. You're the people who do this best.